“If you want something you never had, you must be willing to do something you never done before.”
Why can’t I find a good man? Why do I keep falling for losers? Why do I get all the thugs? Why can’t I be respected and treated the way I deserve? Why? Why? Why? SIS! I’m here to spill all the tea.
Ladies too often question why they can’t get what they’ve never had, but continue to do the same things they’ve always done, and be in the same position they’ve always been in. You can’t receive the blessings God has for you if you aren’t in the position you need to be in to receive them. So, in other words you can’t be on level one hoping to get the benefits of being at level 10. We have to progress mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Stagnancy inhibits growth. We can’t stand still and expect things that are ahead of us to find us. I get it things happen, we get hurt, and we put ourselves into this impenetrable state of mind. The one thing we forget is that mistakes happen, there will be lessons to learn, and not every person is the same. BUT! If we continue to not hold ourselves to the standard that we deserve we will continue to get and attract the same kind of men that don’t respect what we deserve and treat us the exact opposite of how we deserve to be treated. It is a ruthless cycle and we have the power to stop it from happening to us by changing our mindsets and getting in tune with ourselves wholeheartedly.
We have to be strong enough, and smart enough to figure out “what is it that I am doing the same that is not getting me different results? What do I need to change?”
To a certain degree it is not your fault that men do you wrong, but then again there are measures you can take and things you can do personally to deter it from happening time and time again.
- Writing down your standards.
- Knowing how you will and will not allow someone to treat you and stick to it!
- Be straight up with men about what your standards are, and what you will and will not tolerate.
- Be straight about what you want and need from a man. Don’t just go with the flow he is bringing if it ain’t your flow.
- Be sure you are emotionally ready to get involved with someone.
The list can go on. There are so many things as women that we put to the side to appease a man who has no true interest in appeasing us, but instead wants to use us. Ladies you are not pawns, but if you allow yourselves to be treated as such you will never get queen treatment.
We women tend to say things like it was the right time, but the wrong man. The truth is it was the wrong time AND the wrong man. It was the wrong time because you did not put yourself in a good enough mental, spiritual, and emotional space to receive the right man. You have to take the right steps to get into the “it’s the right time” phase. The reason you keep getting the wrong man or don’t know what to do with the right man is because you are still in the same place you were before with the last man. You have to be willing to make change in yourself to reap the benefits of God’s plan for you. Pray, get right with God, ask him for help in getting yourself right, and to guide you in the right path. Stop blaming circumstance and take a good look at yourself for a change. It’ll be the right man, and the right time when you are the right you. Do not be discouraged, be dedicated to bettering yourself, and everything you look for will come across you when you reach the space you need to be in.
Be consistent with yourself as you would want a man to be with you. Be honest to yourself as you would want a man to be with you. Be committed to yourself as you would want a man to be to you. Protect yourself: mind, body, and spirit, as you would want a man to protect you. Be ready to do the things you haven’t been doing to get what you haven’t had. The time is NOW ladies. Why keep the cycle going? It’s up to you to end it.
You deserve the right man!
What kind of wrong men have you come across?
What do you think of the overall posts message?
What advice would you give to women in situations similar to this?